First daaaaayyyy of spring semester!

I can't believe it is already my second semester in seminary. I had 2 classes today, and both went well. Tomorrow I have class at 8:00 AM, 1:00 PM, AND 6:15 PM. LONG DAY! I'm not really worried about it though because tons of my friends are in my afternoon classes, as well as Micah. I am so thankful for him. He helps keep me calm and cheers me up if I'm having a rough day (like yesterday). We disagree and handle conflict very well. We usually need time to cool off, but after that we are able to talk things out semi-calmly and always respectfully. I care about him a lot, so I never want to be disrespectful, hateful, or mean...especially if we are having a disagreement. We are both stubborn and sometimes try to be selfish, but it's neat watching our individual walls come down and then seeing how we put the other person first because we care about each other and our relationship. He makes me very happy just by being himself. He is a blessing to me and I'm still so surprised and thankful that God has placed him in my life. I don't say all of that to be cheesy or mushy. I say it because it is the truth. :)

Bummed

So, I won't be taking summer classes. I miscalculated how much this semester would cost and I lived off my leftover loan money last semester, so I won't have the money to take classes this summer. I am disappointed, to say the least. I don't want to be here for an extra semester. I don't want to have to take out extra loans. I feel so stupid for not figuring this out sooner and stupid for not saving my money. I won't be able to afford to live off campus next fall, either. That is a major let down. I misread info on tuition so everything is winding up costing more than I expected. I thought as long as you took no more than 24 hours, your tuition stayed the same. Well...I was wrong. You pay based on credit hour--which I knew...but I thought if you stayed within the hour limit, your bill didn't go up. So this semester my bill is around $2,000 or $3,000 more than last semester because I am taking 4 more hours. I'm really not sure what the deal is. I had originally signed up for an online class, but that class alone was over $1500 so I dropped it and picked up a class on campus instead. I am discouraged. Money is hard to come by right now for my family. Dad hasn't worked in over a month. They aren't doing without...people are taking care of them...but still. It's discouraging. Knowing that I have so much in loans already and now it's probably going to be even more just makes me want to cry. How am I ever going to pay all that back? I KNOW I did the right thing by coming here. I am not doubting God's call on my life. I am just really overwhelmed right now, and it's hard to see how it's all going to work out.

Hypoglycemic?

I think I am hypoglycemic. I have a lot of the symptoms and it explains a lot- fatigue, rapid heartbeat, feeling hungry even when I know I shouldn't, irritability, sweating...and the headaches I have been getting a lot...oh and the time I passed out when I still lived with Amanda. I never really thought about it until I was describing how I felt to one of my friends who happens to be hypoglycemic. She said that's just how she feels. So, I will make a doctor appointment on Monday. Hopefully I can get this figured out.

Almost break time again...

2 more days of class! Woohoo! I have on paper to write tonight and then a final. Thursday I am heading home and the bf is coming with me. I'm excited for him to meet Amanda...and hopefully Caleb, Rory, Karen, and Jay. We all know their opinions are SUPER important. If Rory and Caleb don't like Micah......in the words of Will, "We have some weally big pwoblems!" Haha.

I hope everyone has a great week!

Tragedy

I'm sure you are aware of the earthquake that hit Haiti. It hits close to the Asbury Seminary campus because we have students and faculty who have family there. Some of our alumni are among the injured. This also breaks my heart because many children sponsored through Compassion International have been affected. Compassion has several child development centers in the area hit by the earthquake. They still have not received word about the centers and children.

If you would like to help with the earthquake relief, you can donate through an organization set up by Asbury student Berteau Eliassaint. You can also donate through Compassion's website. I know the good work Compassion does because I sponsor a little girl in Uganda. She writes me letters and tells me how my sponorship has bought her clothes, food, and even farm animals that her family can raise.

I would also like to mention a tragedy that occured in my hometown. A schoolmate of my sister's was shot and killed by her child's father early this week. She was only 26 years old. She had not lived an easy life, by any means, but she was always a very sweet girl. She was going back to school to be a teacher. Please keep her family and friends in your prayers. I don't want people to forget her.

A few notes...

- What the heck Kiffin?
- I am thankful for a very good support system here at school who are good friends, even when I am in my introverted mode and go MIA.
- I am dating a great guy. He did a great job today of just being there because he knew I was having an off day (I'm still not sure why I feel so weird...). He tried to make me laugh and gave me hugs (which are good for cheering me up), and he prevented me from making a million impulse buys at Kroger when I went there on an empty stomach. Well, I'm not so sure that was a good thing because I still think I needed those Doritos. He did, however, let me buy the giant chocolate dipped cake donuts and icecream. I think he knew better than to mess with those. :)
- I am looking forward to the next few days and getting all my assignments done for my January class.
-I will be home on the 21st...yay!

Another post...wooooo

Well, I am getting settled again at school for January term. It is this week and Mon-Thurs next week. I only go for 3 hours a day, so that isn't too bad.

I haven't written in a while because I have had so much going on in my head lately that I just haven't known where to start. As usual, God is at work in my life and I have a hard time adjusting to change and learning how to change. Change isn't easy, even when I know I need to change.

I realize that spiritual battle that goes on in me each day. I fight a spirit of defeat, lack of confidence, and fear. I am afraid of failure, which keeps me from doing many things. I've realized that Satan uses my introvertedness against me. He turns that time into too much self-reflection and over-analyzing that leave me too mentally exhausted and defeated that I just sit in my room. I avoid my friends and other people. I don't listen to music, I don't watch tv, I don't do homework. I do absolutely nothing. But like I said...change isn't easy. I'm not sad or overwhelmed. I'm just...blah.

Maybe I will update more in the coming days. I'll just see how I feel.