Thursday, August 26, 2010

Giving thanks and a prayer

This early morning I am thankful for God's faithfulness, his peace in the midst of a storm, his comfort in the midst of sorrow. I am thankful for the grace that covers me every day for no reason except that he loves me and chooses to give it to me. I am thankful for my salvation, redemption, and hope that come through the cross. Praying for those struggling or suffering loss right now, that they would feel God's presence and that his peace would reign in their lives. Amen.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Titles are the hardest part

Sitting in my new room in Kentucky. I have no roommate, which works well for me. I enjoy solitude. I am only here for a visit seeing friends and Micah. I was afraid I wouldn't be excited to come back to school this semester. Being back confirms that. I am happy to see everyone, but I don't look forward to living in the dorm again. I'm not looking forward to classes, and at this moment it's hard to imagine I will be here for another year and a half. I am itching to get away somewhere and start a life. I knew at the end of last semester I was ready to be done for a while. I'm starting to feel like I'm ready to be done forever. I know this is a transition period for me. God has done a lot in my life while in Kentucky and a lot over the summer. Now I feel like I'm waiting for the next move. I am not wishing my time away and fully plan to use my time wisely to get assignments done, hang out with different people, and get involved in church. I am looking forward to diving in to life here. I know I need to start a life here, and not just wait for a "new" life to begin. I want to do that. I feel like I live in a bubble here. I don't think it's realistic or constructive. I live on campus to save money and avoid living with a person I wind up not being able to stand. It's nice to have space. It's hard to find that here. I need friends that don't go to school here. I wish Micah and I weren't so involved in each others' lives. The nature of both of us living on campus means everything intersects, even when we don't want it to. So, we have nothing to talk about when we're on campus. We already know.

I love my classes and teachers...I just HATE that seminary is my life when I'm here. It shouldn't be. That's not REAL life. It's stupid. I don't care about your business or your clique of friends. GROW UP! Are you people just in seminary to avoid the real world or because you can't get another job and you think you have job security if you're a pastor?

Ok, rant over. I don't really know who I was talking to since no seminary people read this blog. I just needed to vent some frustrations. More stuff in my life for me to work on. Love, grace, and mercy. May the Lord give me more of those.