Well, I am getting settled again at school for January term. It is this week and Mon-Thurs next week. I only go for 3 hours a day, so that isn't too bad.
I haven't written in a while because I have had so much going on in my head lately that I just haven't known where to start. As usual, God is at work in my life and I have a hard time adjusting to change and learning how to change. Change isn't easy, even when I know I need to change.
I realize that spiritual battle that goes on in me each day. I fight a spirit of defeat, lack of confidence, and fear. I am afraid of failure, which keeps me from doing many things. I've realized that Satan uses my introvertedness against me. He turns that time into too much self-reflection and over-analyzing that leave me too mentally exhausted and defeated that I just sit in my room. I avoid my friends and other people. I don't listen to music, I don't watch tv, I don't do homework. I do absolutely nothing. But like I said...change isn't easy. I'm not sad or overwhelmed. I'm just...blah.
Maybe I will update more in the coming days. I'll just see how I feel.
Monday, January 11, 2010
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