Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A lesson in crying

I cry. A lot. Well, a lot for me. Up until college, I had never been much of a crier. I had my moments, sure, but since my first year in college I have cried much more frequently. I'm not sure if this has to do with having people to talk/cry to or if it's just a change in me. On some level, I like crying. It lets me get emotions out, and I usually feel better afterward. On another level, I feel weak when I cry.

I am beginning to learn that for me, crying is a lesson in humility. It is something between God and me. I almost always cry when I pray. I cry if I talk about God. (I should probably note that for now, crying refers to anything from a mere watering of the eyes to sobbing.) I'm not sure of all the lessons God is trying to teach me through my emotions, but as of late I have felt him tugging me strongly. It is hard to put into words because I'm just not sure what is going on. Maybe crying is my "prayer language." By that, I mean that my crying is something I don't always understand and is many times purely between God and me. It is my spirit and my soul crying out for something more, something deeper. For a touch from God. For revelation, direction, guidance. Maybe it is something God has given me to remind me that He is always here for me. He has never left me...and he won't. Though I don't always like crying, it seems to be the water that is growing my relationship with Christ.

Psalm 126:5
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.

1 comment:

Tam said...

I love this post!

I also, am a crier! I too, cry alot when I pray!

Cool that we have this in common!