Friday, July 23, 2010

Afternoon thoughts

I spent last night reading over my previous blog entries to see where I've been and how far (or not) I've come. I can say that today my heart, mindset, and attitude are very different than they were a year ago. I still struggle with some of the same things, but I handle them differently. I still have days where I feel down, but now I always feel hope at the same time. I have more confidence in myself, more faith in the Lord, and I finally accept and feel like He loves me. Those are some pretty big steps on the path to becoming who God wants me to be. I wish I could share the vision I believe God has for me, but it's hard to translate in to words. I bet it wouldn't make sense to most people even if I could. I feel the Spirit at work in my life probably more than I ever have before. I finally understand and feel that I am not a hopeless case. I simply have to keep persevering, running the race, and following His lead to get where He wants me to be. It's not about me figuring things out or understanding everything. It's not about me having a map telling me exactly where I'm headed. It's not even about making sure I have people around to help me along the way. It is about fully trusting in God and surrending to Him, no matter what that might mean.

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