Can I be honest?

I have been feeling/thinking overwhelmingly negative lately.
About myself.
About others.
I am being honest when I say I don't mean to think this way.
I know the reason I think/feel negatively about others is because I'm projecting my feelings towards myself onto them.
I need the negative thoughts to stop.
I need confidence or esteem or something.
I would appreciate your prayers, Bible verses I could read, or any ideas you think would help.

Besides that, I have so many ideas, thoughts, etc. turning over in my head. What do I think about this? What do I believe about that? What would I want to teach my own children, if I had them? Answers, answers, answers. I am constantly looking for them. I bounce so quickly from one idea to the next and fill my head with so much useless noise, I don't know how I expect to ever get any answers. I think too much. I need to live more.

I should choose positive over negative. Good over bad. Right over wrong. Believing over doubting.

oh goodness!

I am freaking out at the thought of taking out student loans. FREAKING OUT.

The visit....

...went really well.

• The campus is tiny, but nice.
• Everyone we met (and we met a lot of people) was really nice.
• The dorm wasn't bad.
• We really enjoyed chapel...even if they did call my name and make me stand up in front of everyone. Ew!
• My parents REALLY liked the school and had a great time touring it with me.
  

I am being cautiously optimistic about the whole thing and would appreciate your prayers. I'll let you know when I have made a decision about it.

Update on my office

My office is "habitable- repairs necessary." That means we can go in to get stuff out, but can't work out of it until it's brought back up to code. The back wall is peeled away from the floor leaving a gap. Insulation and ceiling tiles are in the floor in the waiting room. The mailbox and brick sign are completely gone. If the tornado had moved just a few feet over, it would have torn the building apart. That's quite a scary thought! The building needs all new siding and a few other repairs, meaning we won't be back in it for at least a month. So, they have us working out of another one of the company's offices in town. We are spread out over three floors. I was not happy about that this morning, but by the afternoon they had moved me and my friends to the same floor and in close proximity to each other. We were so glad!! We were having some separation anxiety, on top of the stress of being in a new office.

I am ready for the storms and rain to be gone. I am very jumpy/antsy/nervous now when I hear the slightest bit of rain or wind. My heart starts beating fast, and I have to fight back the tears. That's the main reason I'm typing this right now...to take my mind off the pouring rain.

Tomorrow

We are meeting in the parking lot of our office at 8:30 with flashlights. The CEO of the company is meeting us there, then we are all going inside to get stuff out.

Good Friday

These are from my neighborhood. A car went through the front of the house.

This house is sitting on top of another house. That's actually the bonus room that was over the garage. The rest of the two houses is gone.



These pictures are taken from the parking lot at my work looking at the nursery nextdoor. There is literally only a driveway wide enough for one car between us and them. The buildings are gone. Our building (not pictured) is still standing, but the roof is collapsed. The building across the street was heavily damaged. A building on the other side of the nursery was destroyed. Thank the Lord it was good Friday and no one was in my office. The damage all along the storm path is unbelievable. It's hard to comprehend even after seeing it in person. Oh...tornadoes really do sound like trains.

It's Tuesday!

That means...only two more work days left this week! I am so excited to be getting Friday off. Good Friday? More like GREAT Friday.

Let the worship eagles fly

This post is for Amanda. She and I thoroughly enjoy the Stuff Christians Like blog. Really, check it out. Anyhoo, last Sunday I went to my mom and dad's church. They were singing a song, I was kinda singing along, but not really because I don't think I knew the words. WELL. They get to this one part, I promise I thought they were singing, "Let the worship eagles fly!" I was like, "WAIT. STOP. WHAT?!?! They know about the worship eagles, too????" Needless to say, that was NOT what they were singing, and I laughed at my ridiculousness.

Job news!

Sorry I'm just getting this up. I was away from my computer most of the day. My job will be cut in June 2010, meaning I have 15 more months there. There are 2 other programs that will be cut at the same time. Overall our company is losing $1.7 million in funds. Of course there had to be layoffs. Of course I am still not sure what my next move is. I am waiting to see if I like Asbury or maybe another school. So....stay tuned.

Tough Day

So...the job cuts started today. My friend Amy got cut, as did another girl in our office. All the kid people (like me) find out tomorrow. What we are hearing now is that even if our positions aren't cut immediately, they will be cut by next year. I'll be okay. I can take out loans and go back to school, but some people don't have that option. Please be in prayer for all the people that are being affected by job cuts. This is definitely one of those times where I realize, "Oh yeah, I'm am adult now."

Campus Visit

I got my confirmation today for my visit to Asbury on the 16th. Yay! My mom (and maybe my dad) is going with me. I always forget to ask questions, so I'm glad Mom will be there. I will let you all know how it goes. I like the program on paper, so I really hope I like the campus. I'm excited!